Drained: Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More
The term mental load has become more familiar in recent years, but the popular understanding of the concept often reduces it down to managing a list of household chores and logistics. Sociologist Leah Ruppanner reveals that for women, mental load actually goes much deeper: It’s a complex form of emotional thinking that is invisible, boundaryless, and enduring. In Drained, Ruppanner outlines the eight distinct types of mental load and highlights what makes them so uniquely heavy for women:
Life organization: Staying on top of planning and tasks
Emotional support: Checking in on family, friends, and coworkers
Relationship hygiene: Maintaining strong social connections
Magic making: Carrying on traditions and creating special life moments
Dream building: Helping others fulfill their passions and ambitions
Individual upkeep: Keeping fit and healthy
Safety: Protecting family and loved ones from danger
Meta-care: Raising children who will thrive in the future
The heart of the book is the Mental Load Audit, a powerful, practical tool to help readers assess where they are spending their time and attention, and how they can take steps to recalibrate their energy effectively. Urgent and provocative, Drained will help women stop blaming themselves for never feeling like they are enough and help them create richer, less overwhelming lives filled with more meaning and joy.
Reviews
“Leah Ruppaner shines a bright spotlight on one of the most invisible and consequential experiences that can drive division and tax bandwidth to the breaking point: the mental load borne primarily by women that keeps family life running. Drained offers an essential blueprint for happier, healthier relationships and lives.”
— Brigid Schulte, New York Times bestselling author of Overwhelmed and Over Work
“It takes a lot to write something new about the mental load that surprises me - but Drained did exactly that. This book is a must read for all parents! If we want to tackle the care gap and the pay gap, burnout, parents mental health, and women's leadership - we need to understand the mental load, and we need to tackle it. And our first step is to read Drained.”
— Kate Mangino, PhD, author of Equal Partners
“I wish I had this wisdom twenty years ago, before I became a mom. If you are a parent, this book is essential reading. And if you are a mother, it is indispensable. Leah Ruppanner offers a strikingly honest, deeply validating look at the unseen burdens so many of us carry and a path toward living with more ease, agency, and joy."